Managed to flick a vibrant yellow stripe of poo onto myself. Not my own, if that makes it any better.

Confirmed! Robot dancing to an incorrectly-sung version of Gary Numan’s ‘Cars’ is not amusing to child who is, at that moment, defecating.

It’s just gone 8.00am and I’ve already picked up one piece of human poo with my fingers.

Coroners must occasionally see things which test their professionalism and make them feel ill.

Changing nappies is like that sometimes.